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Clarkson Farm 2: Surviving

   2023    Nature
Another year in the life of Diddly Squat Farm, run by Jeremy Clarkson, Britain's best-known but least-qualified amateur farmer. Season 2 of Clarkson’s Farm promises to be even better than the first as Clarkson and his rag tag group combat the public, the council, and the government.
In the first episode, Clarkson attempts to diversify his farm's revenue sources (having made only £144 in the previous year) in an effort to increase his profits. He decides that his primary way of doing this will be a new herd of cows and promptly purchases several of the animals. However, the timing of when they will bring in money and the necessity of building an enclosure for them causes problems for Jeremy and Charlie. Meanwhile, inspired by the success of the farm shop, Clarkson has the idea to open a restaurant in the abandoned lambing barn to sell his beef and lamb, but he must deal with the cost of converting the barn and getting approval from the local council.
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2

Schmoozing

   2023    Nature
Clarkson is ready to submit his application for his farm restaurant; he must use gentle navigation and respect for bureaucracy in order to keep his interests afloat. This, of course, is not easy for Jeremy, so he must be careful. Faced with Council powers that be, Jeremy uses two of his greatest skills: diplomacy and respect for red tape.
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2

Council-ing

   2023    Nature
The results of the TB test are in... but just as important is the fact that numerous calves are scheduled to be born in the next couple of weeks. The first few happen very quickly in the dead of night before Jeremy's woken up, but soon he and Kaleb are dealing with some very challenging situations. Jeremy also meets local farmers to discuss a farmers' co-operative to supply the restaurant - much-needed by some who are really struggling - because the clock is counting down to Decision Day, when the Council will hold a public meeting to decide the fate of Jeremy's restaurant.
After weeks of waiting, the day of judgement for Clarkson's restaurant is at last here. He and Charlie set off to put their case to the powers that be. Is it a Yes? Or is it a No?
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2

Counselling

   2023    Nature
Everyone's still reeling from the council's decision and its implications: the money Jeremy's spent on cows for the restaurant, the locals who won't find work there now and the farmers' co-operative that's now defunct. Charlie sets out to find a legal team to help Jeremy appeal the decision, as Jeremy and Kaleb get to work on tagging the new calves and attempting to navigate a government helpline where you're supposed to register them.
There are other useful distractions from the council in the shape of Diddly Squat's Hedge Laying Competition and a mouse that brings the whole farm to a standstill. The legal team that Charlie has assembled pay a visit. They outline their strategy for the appeal, but also the costs that come with it.
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2

Scheming

   2023    Nature
Spring has sprung at Diddly Squat Farm, and that heralds the release of cows and chickens from their winter captivity. Jeremy's restaurant plans are in tatters, but that's not the end of his dealings with the council, who are also sending letters raising issues about what's being sold in the shop itself. From here on in, Jeremy decides that he and all around him must operate in a world of loop-holes and just-within-the-law cunning wheezes. Pepper the prized heifer still isn't pregnant and her last chance saloon arrives in the shape of a bull called Break Heart Maestro.
A chat with Alan the builder provides a Eureka Moment: the restaurant idea is not dead after all! There's much excitement as building work begins and Jeremy meets a chef called Pip. There's less excitement when he has to take his first steer to the abattoir.
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2

Climaxing

   2023    Nature
Jeremy's restaurant opens in a matter of days, but it's all on the QT. Jeremy does not want the council to find out until just before it opens. Which is why Jeremy and Kaleb are laying pipes for water and electrics across a field in the dead of night. Pepper the heifer is still very much alive and is enjoying the company of Break Heart Maestro a lot.
Two days until Restaurant Opening Day, Jeremy informs the council and it's game on: Alan and his team of builders work at full throttle, Pip and her team of chefs do too, and the blend of excitement and panic is affecting everyone. The day itself arrives. Will the Diddly Squat Farm Restaurant sink or swim? Or will the council shut it down before the first steak hits the grill?
Series: Clarkson Farm Season 2
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Enemies of Reason

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Dirty Money

Dirty Money

2018  Culture